My name is Lisa, and I am the volunteer Area Contact for BR/DA which I have been doing for nearly a year now. I first joined WAY in January 2022 after I lost my lifelong soul mate and husband of 27 years in November 2021 and I was aged 45.
Jamie, my husband, was diagnosed with Lymphoma in 2010, but was a low grade lymphoma and had some radiotherapy and although he was never put into remission he was placed on watch and wait - he never let this stop him doing anything and even went and ran the London marathon to raise money for The Royal Marsden who were treating him.
At the start of lockdown in May 20, his disease transformed to a high grade aggressive cancer and he went on to endure the fight of his life until November 21 when he finally lost it. He went through endless chemo, trials and eventually found a match for a transplant, but he was not well enough to endure it.
After Jamie died my anxiety and looking back now, what I thought was grief probably was full on depression as happens to so many of us. I was suffering panic attacks and simply never believed he was dead until just after a year. I was so crippled with anxiety but I did somehow manage to carry on working from home to support us, but life was simply going through the motions and feeling numb and guilty if I laughed or enjoyed anything again, as Jamie wasn’t here to do those things.
For me a real switch in my journey was in August last year, as I decided to take off my wedding ring and keep it safe as for me - it was simply too painful to look at everyday. I also put my house up for sale and decided to move area, as for me and the girls it was full of too many sad memories from when he was ill for so long through covid. I slowly started getting my confidence back and started exercising again and started to embrace life.
When I first joined WAY I just watched the Facebook pages and just wanted to see what it was all about - this club that no one wants to be a part of.
I then messaged a lady local to me and we arranged to meet for a walk around our local park and I was so nervous, but was one of the best things I did in my journey - we talked non stop for an hour whilst marching round the park and the conversation flowed so easily. She has gone on to become one of my close friends and we can talk honestly and openly about any life decisions that we would have previously discussed with our husbands.
I have gone on to go to endless WAY meets and have found so many more special friendships and a few of us WAY friends took ourselves off to a day spa for my birthday.
I have also set up WAY Theatre and Cinema page towards the end of last year and have been to 2 theatre shows in London - the last show there was around 20 WAY members and we all had dinner before and drinks after and was just so lovely.
WAY opens up so many unexpected opportunities and special friendships, I have made many more friends in WAY and know there are still more to be made.
I always come away from WAY events with a sense of peace and always glad I made the effort to go even when it was hard to get out of the door. WAY is also there if you can’t attend events with the website chats, Facebook pages and zoom events.
I know being part of WAY has definitely helped me with my confidence and self-belief and will continue to receiving support and encouragement through more of life's ups and downs.
So if you are thinking of joining or volunteering I can assure the reward of friendship, support and encouragement is priceless.
If you would like to find out more about volunteering for WAY, please email Veronica here.