Member tips for coping with Mother's Day

March 2023

This weekend brings us one of the days that many who are widowed dread. Whether you are being a sole parent, bringing up a child without their mum or you didn’t have children, the WAY community is here to support you if you are struggling.

WAY members have shared some tips for coping with Mother’s Day after losing a loved one.

“I would love my children to want to celebrate their late mother, but I don’t think they are in that place yet. My daughter said she might make a cake.”

“Being a mum is the thing I'm proudest of; I like to celebrate it because I deserve it - I organise something nice for me and the kids to make new memories.”

“Having the support of the WAY Woc (without children) sub-group helps me know I’m not alone with the ‘what could/should have been’ of a parenthood denied”

“Our school changed Mother’s Day to ‘Give a gift to someone you love’ day. This was in response to our situation and equally for the children with two dads for example.”

“In the past I have tended to try and avoid going anywhere I might be reminded on the day itself. It’s not always possible but I have started to recognise my triggers.”

“We use the day to remember their Mum and go out to a place that we used to visit with her. We will share stories about them as well.”

“My teenage girls are really good at remembering and have given me handmade cards or cooked breakfasts which is lovely. When it comes round to Father’s Day, we go to the beach where his ashes are and have a family day.”

“There is no right or wrong; do what feels right for you and your children.”

“We remember them every day. Life is hard enough so we don’t need to put ourselves through these days if they are too painful for us.”

“I am not only grieving for the loss of my soul mate, but the children we would have had. Mother’s Day is another reminder. Reading posts from other members in similar situations helps me feel understood and less alone.”

“We are choosing not to acknowledge it. We can sometimes be our own worst enemies. In reality they are just made up, we don’t have to engage with them if we don’t choose to.”

“For me, life still goes on and it’s how we choose to show the love we have for our lost partners by being able to talk about them, acknowledge them and remember the awesome times we had.”

“I use it as a day for my kids and I to spend a little time connecting in a peaceful way.”

 “You have to do whatever works for you. You don’t have to do anything, but equally you don’t have to do nothing.”