Blank Space campaign in Scotland: Karen’s story

January 2026

Two weeks after Scottish WAY member Karen’s fiancé Jim died, she found out she was pregnant with their second child. She was shocked to learn that, because she and Jim weren’t married, she wasn’t able to include his name on their baby’s birth certificate when she went to register his birth…

“When my fiancé, Jim, died very suddenly after a heart attack in 2021, my world stopped. Our daughter was just nine months old. Two weeks later, deep in shock and grief, I discovered I was pregnant with our son. 

Jim and I had been together for a decade. We were engaged to be married and had lived together for many years. The arrival of our daughter marked a new chapter for us, and we were overjoyed. The timing of Jim’s sudden death just nine months later felt unbearably cruel. The new pregnancy was an absolute gift, a shining light through the despair of fresh grief. We had wanted a big family.  

But on top of the immense trauma of sudden bereavement, there was a looming challenge ahead: I would not be registering Jim’s name on our new baby’s birth certificate, because we weren’t married.

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In May 2022, our son was born. It was bittersweet, but I was so grateful he was here. When the time came to register his birth, I was hit by the painful practicalities of the current law. I was back at the same registry office where Jim and I had happily walked hand in hand the year before to register our daughter’s birth. Now, I was standing there as a bereaved solo mother to two tiny children. Although I knew in advance that Jim’s name wouldn’t be on the certificate, still the moment was incredibly sad. 

If we had been married, there would have been no issue. The law assumes my husband to be the father of my child. But we didn’t get time to take that final step of getting married, so we are treated differently. My son was given a certificate with a line through the space where his father’s name should be.  

To put Jim’s name where it rightfully belongs, I then began a long and complex legal process. I had to make an application to the sheriff court for a declarator of parentage – a statement by the sheriff declaring that Jim is my son’s father.

I am lucky, as a lawyer myself, I had some understanding of the court process, and huge help from a kind former colleague with family law expertise. Without these privileges, it is a bewildering and expensive process, and I recognise others will face this tragic reality.

The hardest part was having to give evidence about the circumstances of our son’s parentage in an affidavit (a written statement). My family had to get involved and give statements too. I found having to relay the intimate details of my relationship with Jim to the court very upsetting and uncomfortable. The current process is unnecessarily complex, compounds the trauma of bereavement, and feels inhumane. It piles additional emotional and financial pressure onto bereaved new mothers at what is already an immensely vulnerable time. 

Finally getting the new birth certificate in 2024 was a massive step. It was so important to get that done, not just for me, but for my son. It breaks my heart that he will never meet his dad. I can’t change this, but I am determined he should never have to question who his dad is, or think he doesn’t have a dad. I never wanted him to look at his sister and say, ‘Why is his name on her certificate? Why am I different?’

Now we’ve got the new certificate, Jim’s in his rightful place. It was a real milestone to have that recognition. It’s so important to me that the official documents reflect that Jim is my son’s dad. My view is the law needs to be updated to reflect modern society, where many children are born to unmarried parents. Cohabiting couples have long had legal recognition. The process needs to be more compassionate and straightforward, so bereaved new mothers don’t face this huge additional and unnecessary challenge.

Jim will always be present in our children’s lives. It’s vital to me that their birth certificates reflect this. He’s so much more than a blank space. We speak about him all the time, and I share photos and videos of him, remembering his warmth, humour and kindness. That way, I can keep his memory alive for the children so that they know his love is always with them – and they can carry it forward into their lives for the future.”