Easing into autumn whilst living with complex grief after suicide loss

September 2025

WAY member and trauma-informed family healing coach Piata shares her tips for easing into autumn, drawing on her own experiences of being bereaved to suicide…

“September is designated as Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, possibly due to its recognition as a particularly challenging time for mental health. This applies particularly to those who are bereaved by suicide. In this post, I share some ideas about how to make this month and the transition into autumn easier, drawing on my own experience. 

When we are bereaved, the expected life with the expected people is lost. This leaves us feeling shattered, disoriented, insecure and fragile. Grief recovery involves adapting and evolving into someone new. This change demands most of our resources and it’s challenging. Any additional change, including a change of season, is therefore met with anxiety.

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John, my late husband, suffered five episodes of emotional overwhelm and burnout during our 25 years together. Each time these episodes started in the autumn. The last episode began in the autumn of 2015. He struggled through a long, dark winter with no respite from his emotional pain, and died by suicide on 3 March 2016.

Nearly 10 years on, me and my children are learning to live alongside our complex grief and the dread at this time of year is slowly lifting. However, our traumatic events are imprinted in our nervous system and I notice that some fear still lingers. 

I don’t aim to dismiss or distract myself from my fear and emotions with the following practices but they hold me and offer me buoyancy through the rough and stormy turbulence of grief:

1. Noticing changes

Noticing the world change around me in nature reassures me to follow the natural rhythm of life. I notice the leaves and berries changing colour and, although the days are still warm, I notice the cooler mornings and evenings.

2. Drawing on ancient traditions

I use the pagan calendar as a nurturing path through the seasons that’s evolved through the history of mankind. Mabon is an ancient celebration that marks the Autumn Equinox on 22 September. The themes of Mabon, which I try to weave into my life, are balance, harvest, gratitude and release.

3. Finding balance

In the autumn, the length of the days and nights is more equal and this encourages me to reflect on my inner world as well as my external world, to find balance and create space for both.

In life, although it’s challenging, we gain strength from understanding that it’s natural to experience beginnings and endings, life and death, light and darkness, day and night, joy and sadness, activity and rest. 

4. Seeking nourishment

Family meals nourish our bodies and spirits. We cook roast dinners again, forage for apples and blackberries – and a crumble is a firm favourite. 

I feel grateful for the food harvest. I also feel grateful for our personal, inner harvest and the progress we’ve made as a family with our grief recovery. Both children transition into new work roles and leave behind formal education.

5. Embracing the changing seasons

My tender nervous system needs the predictability and calm of a routine. However, I release the aim of a firm plan. Instead, I create gentle intentions. This means trusting the future and accepting the natural flow of life, which includes embracing the turn of the seasons.

6. Intentional slow living

I enjoy creating mood boards for the coming month and season. This offers a way to welcome in the new month and season with more intention, hope and courage. I include my favourite activity, which is a visit to a public garden to see displays of pumpkins, squashes and autumn leaves. I simplify and slow down life to protect space for grief recovery and healing. 

7. Combating loneliness 

Loneliness is the worst part of our situation as it’s difficult to find support for our struggles in everyday life. Peer support and specialist groups offer essential connections. I live remotely and I find WAY’s Widowed by Suicide Facebook subgroup to be a source of support. WAY also runs monthly online group meetings via Zoom for those bereaved to suicide.  

In addition, with the darkness and cold, we are naturally more home-based so we can feel extra lonely. However, we do need the comfort of home. Grief shatters us into parts and we need time at home to journey back home to ourselves. To a new and adapted version of ourselves. Even though it’s challenging, autumn and winter offer this space.

8. Practising self-care

I already implement self-care practices and an additional list for the darker months is helpful. These are some that help me: declutter old paper and digital photos, declutter other areas of my home, learn a new skill and explore new recipes and musicians on YouTube. 

9. Taking time to rest

As the new school term begins and people return to work after their summer holidays, there is often pressure to feel energised and more productive. However, this expectation contradicts with what nature intended for this time of year. I recommend reading the book Wintering by Katherine May, as it encourages a slower pace during this season. 

I hope these ideas inspire you to also consider a slower pace during the darker months for restoration, peace and healing.”