International Brain Tumour Awareness Week: WAY member Debbie shares her story

October 2025

WAY member Debbie shares the story of her late husband, Steve, who was diagnosed in October 2021 with Grade 4 glioblastoma – an aggressive type of cancer that can affect the brain or spinal cord…

In October 2021, Debbie was away with work on a school residential trip. When she arrived home, she noticed her husband Steve was not himself. He seemed very withdrawn and quiet.

“Over the weekend, his behaviour was becoming weirder,” says Debbie. “He would not engage with the family. I noticed his hands were shaking when he was eating. He also seemed a lot more tired than usual. He was very confused and he had trouble with his thought processes. I also noticed he pulled strange facial expressions. Every time I asked Steve how he was feeling, he kept repeating himself saying ‘I’m fine, I’m fine’.”

“This came out of nowhere,” she recalls. “Loads of thoughts were going round my mind: is he having a nervous breakdown, is he having early signs of dementia. I even thought at one point he was having an affair.”

“I told him not to go to work on the Monday and to get a doctor’s appointment. Eventually, we took him into A&E and he was given a CT scan. At 5.20pm on Monday, 4 October 2021, we were told directly that Steve had brain cancer. This is when our lives changed very dramatically and suddenly. Even at this point, I don’t think Steve was fully aware what was going on. I just cried and hugged him and I remember he kept saying he was worried for me.”

After Steve’s biopsy, Queen Elizabeth Hospital in Birmingham confirmed the family’s worst fears – Steve had a very aggressive form of brain cancer. This was inoperable and incurable – all the doctors could offer Steve was two weeks of radiotherapy to reduce the size of the tumour.

Two weeks after Steve completed the treatment, he was deteriorating rapidly. His mobility was affected and he was exhausted. He celebrated his 51st birthday in his hospital bed at home with Debbie and their daughter. A week later, on 4 February 2022, he sadly passed away at the local hospice.

“I was there and held his hand and told him how much I loved him and how we will always do him proud and I know he will always be with us,” says Debbie. “Four years on, there is still not a day that goes by that I don’t think about Steve. We would have celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary last July and that really knocked me thinking we should be celebrating it together.”

Good days and bad days

“Nearly four years on, I still have good days and bad days,” she admits. “I have learnt how to adapt and adjust to our new life. It’s been so hard at times, but we don’t know our own strength. My outlook on life has changed: my motto is ‘you only have one life, live it’.”

“I am finding I am going out and about more and visiting more places in the UK and abroad,” she says. “Me and daughter Lexie saw Oasis in July. That was so emotional as the last time I saw them Steve and I saw them in June 2009, just before they split up. So seeing them with my daughter this summer was so special to me.”

“My daughter, who will be 15 in December, struggled after the first Christmas – Steve’s birthday and death anniversary are so close together. So I referred her to a local bereavement charity where she was having fortnightly sessions. This lasted for six months, and currently she is doing very well. We have always been open and honest with each other so we do talk about Steve a lot. She still attends her dance and musical theatre school. These passions have helped her tremendously throughout her journey.”

“After Steve’s death, someone advised me to sign up to the peer support network WAY Widowed and Young,” says Debbie. “That summer, I met some other members at a local lunch and I attended a yoga weekend retreat that was organised by another WAY member. It was good to meet other members who are on a similar grief journey.”

“It is so refreshing to read about other people’s experiences of bereavement and how we all grieve differently,” she adds. “I have made some good friends with other people from WAY where we do go out and meet up which has been really helpful and supportive.”

Four years on, Debbie feels proud of how far she and Lexie have come.

“It’s hard and I still get overwhelmed with a lot of stuff,” says Debbie, “But we are doing very well. I know Steve would be so proud of me – and I am determined to keep making new memories for me and Lexie.”