Ismena’s story: rebuilding life after traumatic loss and injuries

November 2024

WAY member Ismena’s life was shattered in an instant when a speeding driver hit her and her husband Simon while they were out for a day’s shopping in November 2019 – killing Simon and leaving Ismena with life-changing injuries. She has shared her story in a very moving video made by our partners at Irwin Mitchell to mark Road Safety Week….

“When I first met Sy, I was 19,” says Ismena. “He was really funny – a really handsome man. And he had a Mohican which was pretty cool. It was love at first sight.”

Ismena and Simon had been together for 14 years and got married in August 2019 – just three months before the crash happened. They were on the way out to the shops when they were hit by a speeding driver. Simon was killed instantly and Ismena suffered a serious brain injury, skull fractures, a tear to her spleen, fractures to her hip and pelvis and bruising to her lungs. She spent nearly two weeks in intensive care.

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“The day of the crash, I do not have a memory,” Ismena says. “All I know is just waking up at the hospital and I couldn’t see Sy around. I was confused most of the time until I started accepting that Sy was involved in this and was no longer with me.”

After being discharged from hospital just a few days before Christmas, Ismena stayed with her sister-in-law’s mum, who offered support for daily activities, as well as emotional support. Gradually, she adapted to the impacts of her physical injuries and has made really good progress over the last five years. Today, she is learning to drive, has started training as a teaching assistant and has just bought a house. With the help of the Serious Injury team at Irwin Mitchell, she has been able to secure a financial settlement that ensures she has access to the support she needs to help her recover from her injuries and to cope with losing Simon – as well as rebuilding her future.

Finding a new way forward

Ismena has also found support through the charity WAY Widowed and Young, which offers friendship, support and understanding to young widowed people across the UK who have been widowed before their 51stbirthday.

“I have met other widows with lots of different stories but we can talk freely about how we feel,” says Ismena. “They’re really good friends, and I can’t imagine going on this journey without them too.”

Ismena’s Imagine story is an example of how WAY’s partnership with charity supporters like Irwin Mitchell – which also provides a legal and financial support telephone line and runs online webinars for WAY members – can work together to support young widowed people through their bereavement.

“Our charity and Irwin Mitchell just fit so well together because of that holistic approach,” says WAY’s Head of Operations and Partnerships Colette Scarbrough-Jelfs. “We look at what we can do to support people working together – looking at the bigger picture. Ismena doesn’t want to be defined by her bereavement. She doesn’t want to be defined by her loss and what happened that day. People want to be there to support her and continue to do so today.” 

Although Ismena’s life has changed beyond recognition, she is determined to rebuild her life, drawing on that support. 

“You have to reinvent yourself,” she says. “I was for so long with someone who was my soulmate. You become one and rely on each other’s personalities. You learn from each other. Now I’m doing it on my own. I’m still learning about who I am by myself. It’s a really hard job, but you’ve got to move forward to find out who you are.”