Jake’s journey: Navigating life as a widowed dad

June 2025

Jake joined WAY in March 2024, a month into his bereavement. He was just 33 years old and his youngest son was three months old. In the run up to Father’s Day, he talks about how finding other young widowed people through WAY has helped him to navigate his ‘new normal’ as a widowed father…

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We lost my wife Eleanor to suicide as the result of post-natal depression following the birth of our son. Eleanor had initially been unwell after the birth of our daughter two years previously, but after she made an incredible recovery from her illness, we decided to have another child. At the time, the advice was that there wasn’t a guarantee that she would have a similar hormonal or psychological response so we made the decision to go ahead.

Initially Eleanor was doing really well after our son was born, but the depression, anxiety and bi-polar symptoms crept back in. This ultimately resulted in her taking her own life when our son was three months old in February of 2024.

How did finding support through WAY help you?

WAY has been a huge lifeline during my bereavement, alongside familial support for me. Early on, not knowing which way was up, let alone what needed doing, the peer support, help and guidance from within WAY has provided me with an invaluable asset that I’ve benefitted from immensely. The understanding, compassion and hope offered by staff, volunteers and members provided me with an incredible resource that really helped me in navigating the situation all of us members find ourselves in.

Can you tell us about your volunteering role and what that involves?

I help support WAY’s National Volunteer Manager Veronica and the incredible team of volunteers within WAY to facilitate some of WAY’s online Zoom meetings for both newly bereaved members and those who were bereaved at a young age within the WAVY (widowed and very young) Subgroup. 

This involves hosting various online Zoom sessions that provide a safe space for WAY members to talk about their thoughts and share their feelings and additionally give and receive peer support from other members. 

How does it help you on a personal level to support other WAY members who are more newly bereaved?

As a lone parent to two young children, finding time to get out and meet other WAY members physically proved quite complex early on, so the online WAY Zooms were something I stumbled across early on in my bereavement. Having found them to have been such a massive help to me personally, once I was in a better position, I felt it would be really rewarding to be able to give back to those members who were now finding themselves early on in their bereavement. 

Being able to support and assist newer members during their journey is something that I felt was incredibly important to me and being able to help to provide that space for those members that benefit from it gives me a sense of purpose outside of my regular responsibilities.

What is the value of connecting with other people who've gone through similar experiences?

I genuinely feel that making connections with people in similar situations to me has been instrumental in allowing me to navigate this ‘new normal’ as well as I have been able to. Finding others who have experienced similar things, thoughts and situations is incredibly validating. At times, when you think you’re going mad or isolated as the only person experiencing these things, to then discover that other people are also finding themselves in these situations really lessens their impact.

What are some of the challenges you've faced as a young widowed dad?

Finding myself as a lone parent has brought with it many challenges. I’m fortunate enough to have a great support network of family around me, but it’s not without its obstacles. As our son was only three months old when Eleanor passed away, early on it was just about getting through the days with a toddler and a baby in tow. Managing the household and practical things could become difficult early on, so finding a routine that worked for us was essential. 

Outside of the daily requirements of keeping everyone fed and watered, being a single father also presented additional challenges early on that I hadn’t anticipated; being the only man at various baby groups was difficult, not always being able to access baby changing facilities within male bathrooms when out also proved to be quite frustrating as it would appear that not all businesses and establishments are prepared to cater to our situation.

You learn quickly early on what is and isn’t achievable and, with support, we’ve been able to get through everything so far. Outside of practical issues, dealing with the complex thoughts of a young child has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life. Our daughter was only two when my wife passed away, so having to talk to her about her mother’s passing early on was incredibly emotionally difficult. A little over a year later, we still talk about her mum all the time, but now focus on the positives. 

How has being a member of WAY helped with that?

Peer support from other widows and widowers has been a huge benefit in navigating a lot of complex situations and thoughts; from parenting tips from other parents, experiences from people on legal and financial situations and most of all, the compassion and understanding during those tougher days. I feel very fortunate to have made such strong connections and friendships through WAY and they’ve helped my children and I hugely though our bereavement. 

What advice would you have for other widowed dads, particularly in the run up to Father's Day?

Probably my best bit of real advice would be to reach out. Suffering in silence is still a very normal societal situation for many men, so being open and honest with family, friends and available support networks can be the best first step in seeking help, guidance or assistance when navigating these incredibly tough situations we find ourselves in. Remember to go easy on yourself. You’re all doing an incredible job.

Do you have any particular plans for Father's Day?

We shall be visiting family on the day itself and I’ll personally be celebrating with my own incredible father and my children’s grandfather, hoping to find our own positives on what can be an incredibly tough day for widowed fathers. In the past I’ve not wanted to celebrate many of these personal special days as they’ve been fairly bittersweet, but as we move forward with hope, there’s a renewed focus on making the best of what we can and looking forward to the potential of more positive things in the future.