“Life is far too short”: WAY members share how grief has changed their outlook

September 2024

Recently, we asked WAY Widowed and Young’s social media followers: “How has your outlook on life changed since being bereaved?” The responses were as varied and complex as the experiences of grief itself. However, a common theme emerged: after the initial shock of bereavement and the changes it brings, many people find themselves with a renewed desire to embrace life – recognising how precious and fragile it can be.

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Emma captured this sentiment beautifully, “It has completely changed the way I look at everything! Life is fragile and can change so quickly, so get out there and live the best possible life you can live.” 

Karen echoed Emma’s words, saying “Life is far too short and precious. Our time isn’t up yet, so we need to make the most of it.” Emma agreed, “I’m going to create great things and live my life to the full.” 

At WAY Widowed and Young, we understand that it can be challenging to take that first step towards re-engaging with life after a significant bereavement, which can completely undermine your self-confidence, as Martin explained:

“Losing my partner changed everything for me. It affected my confidence and self-esteem very negatively,” he shared. Other people explained how being forced to face their fears has made them re-evaluate life and change the way they faced the future. 

“My outlook has changed massively,” says Jeanna. “My biggest fear was of being alone and my husband not being here. Since he died, I’ve had no choice but to face that fear. With it, my confidence has increased massively, and my anxieties have reduced – I know I can be alone, and I can be safe and successful.”

Sarah agrees, “To be honest, after the initial awful first few years – which I wouldn’t wish on anybody – being widowed has enriched my life, as I tend to live it like any day could be my last.”

Ann also found unexpected strength through her loss: “Life is short, so I try to live it to the fullest, even if it means doing some things alone. I’ve had to rediscover myself and what I like, and I’ve learnt to enjoy my own company.” 

“Live for every moment”

When we asked WAY’s social media followers whether grief had made them want to hide away or live life to the fullest, the responses were mixed. Sarah reflected on the non-linear nature of grief, saying, “Just like the whole grief journey, the feelings of wanting to hide away or get out there wax and wane.”

Mark agreed, “There is definitely a need to do more in life as a mark of respect to Maria, who is missing out on this part of our lives, but other days you can just want to hide away from life altogether.” 

Sonya reflected, “I definitely get out more and try new experiences, and I’m now very laid back about things, as losing my soulmate has taught me not to sweat the small stuff anymore.”

This was a sentiment shared by people like Lauren, who shared her thoughts, “Absolutely live for every moment …  I find I have less tolerance for people who moan!”

Time can really put things in perspective too, as Cláudia pointed out, “In the beginning I just wanted to join him… now I want to live for both of us!” 

Ella summed it up succinctly: “Don’t keep anything for a special occasion. Don’t put things off. Go for it.”

Find others who understand

One strong piece of advice that echoed loud and clear was the importance of finding other people who understand what you’re going through via peer support networks like WAY Widowed and Young.

As Sue shared, “WAY helped so much, as having people who understood without even saying anything, for both me and my boys (who were entering their teenage years), meant so much.”

Huge thanks to Sue and to everyone who contributed their thoughts and experiences about navigating life after bereavement.

WAY has 4,700 members across the UK. Through our peer support network, we provide support, friendship and understanding to help people like Sue rebuild their lives after loss.