Unleashing hope: Michelle’s story

February 2025

After losing her partner just under four weeks before their wedding, WAY member Michelle gave up her job in the charity sector and followed her dream: a flourishing new career in dog grooming. She takes up the tale this National Love Your Pet Day…

“Looking back three years ago, I could never have imagined where I would be today. My world was turned upside down. If someone had told me back then that I’d be running a thriving business and receiving awards, I wouldn’t have believed them. But here I am, and I want people to know that there is hope. Your life can change, you will smile again and better days are ahead.

My journey began with a devastating loss. My partner Jon passed away suddenly and unexpectedly just under four weeks before our wedding three years ago. In the first few months, I struggled to get out of bed, unable to do anything or leave the house. 

For 20 years, I worked in education, starting as a special needs teacher and eventually becoming a Deputy Head. Later, I worked at my church charity in Bedford, supporting refugees and unaccompanied asylum-seeking children. I then moved to a charity in Northampton where I helped vulnerable adults. I really enjoyed this work because it aligned with my volunteer efforts at a local prison and feeding the homeless. Everything seemed to be going well, and I had become a manager with a small team.

Then, my world fell apart. My partner and I were to get married on 4 March 2022, but he died on 5 February – just under four weeks before the wedding. 

Jon’s death was unexpected, and the circumstances were tragic. In the days leading up to it, I sensed something was wrong. He was self-employed and had planned to work on a job in Norfolk, but instead, he drove to London, booked a hotel room and ended his life by overdose. I had no idea he was struggling so much.

I took three months off work, but the small charity I worked for needed me back. They didn’t have the resources to cover my absence. Even though I tried to return, I realised I wasn’t ready. I couldn’t remember how to use a laptop or the software I once knew inside out. Widow’s brain is real and overwhelming.

Rethinking the future

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Eventually, I resigned because I couldn’t do my job as I had before. It was time to rethink my future. I had always loved dogs, and I wanted to see if I could become a dog groomer. I researched courses and figured out the costs of opening my own business. I built an extension on the back of my house and started my journey as a dog groomer.

Financially, it was a challenge because, as Jon’s fiancée, I didn’t receive Bereavement Support Payments, a pension or any life insurance. I was a single-income household with a mortgage to pay. But I managed to make it work.

I attended my first WAY meet-up quite early on in my journey. I remember crying the whole time. It was a tough period, but WAY offered more than just support. It gave me friendship, community and solidarity. I found genuine empathy and a group of people who understood what I was going through. 

The support I received through WAY was unlike anything else. It feels like a family I never knew I had. One of our local volunteers, Becky, proofread a solicitor’s letter for me when I was too overwhelmed to think straight. WAY stood with me during the toughest times, helping me function and giving me a reason to get out of bed. This community has shown me that there are widows of all ages and those friendships have been invaluable.

One friend from WAY, Dee, even accompanied me to the Coroner’s Court during the inquest into Jon’s death. She understood because she’d been through it herself. She sat with me, offering silent support whilst holding my hand. That kind of understanding and companionship is priceless. 

I also took part in online yoga sessions run by a fellow WAY member, Orla, which began with me slumped on the floor next to my bed. The focus on breathing and relaxation was what I needed. The instructor's affirmations helped me find calm and centre myself. Eventually I plucked up the courage to turn my camera on. I later attended a two-day workshop she hosted, which was a significant step for me. I even drove three hours to get there, overcoming my anxiety about driving long distances.

Learning to laugh again

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WAY events aren’t just about grief; they are about laughter and joy. I remember a kayaking day where I laughed so hard with other widows that it felt like a breakthrough. It wasn’t about sitting around and talking about death. It was about finding the courage to laugh again without feeling guilty.

WAY has also provided me with opportunities to give back. When our local area contact Becky asked for support, I offered to help arrange meet-ups and events in my area. I’ve also attended online training to support newly bereaved members and now regularly co-lead Saturday morning Zoom sessions for people bereaved under 12 months.

Through WAY, I met other widows who encouraged me to pursue my business idea. They understood that my perspective on life had shifted after Jon’s death. I realised that life is short, and I should go for my dream. Their encouragement was different from advice I received from friends outside WAY, who often questioned if I was ready. WAY friends understood and urged me to pursue the life I wanted.

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Now, I’m running my dog grooming business, and it’s doing well. I’ve received awards for service excellence in Bedfordshire and I’m currently a finalist for Dog Groomer of the Year 2025 in the Southern Region with Animal Star Awards. My business is not just about grooming dogs; it’s a place where people, including widows, can come and talk about anything. It’s incredible how this journey has evolved, allowing me to connect with others who are grieving. In December, I also raised nearly £200 from a Christmas raffle hamper in aid of WAY.

Through WAY and my business, I’ve learned that, even after the darkest times, there can be light. You can rebuild your life, find fulfilment and make new connections. I’m living proof that you can smile again and that better days are possible.”