Widowed with a disability: Georgina’s story

July 2025

 When WAY member Georgina was diagnosed with osteoarthritis in 2022, she was no longer able to walk more than 200 steps or stand for longer than a minute. After her partner Jamie died of cancer earlier this year, she had to find new ways to manage her condition and everyday life without his support. To mark Disability Pride Month, she shared her story…

“I met my partner Jamie in 2012, when we both worked in the same office. A year later, after a memorable moment at a work party (where he cheekily chased me around asking for a kiss!), we began our relationship. We were together nearly 12 years. Jamie really was my rock – especially in the last few years when my life changed due to disability.

Unfortunately, I started having mobility issues in 2020 and was diagnosed with severe tricompartmental osteoarthritis in both knees in 2022. Because of my age (I’m 37 now), surgeons have advised they won’t operate. The pain has left me reliant on a wheelchair or mobility scooter to walk more than 20 metres or stand longer than a minute without significant pain. Jamie started doing many tasks that I was unable to do – all the housework, the shopping and the driving. I fully relied on him completely just to leave the house, as I couldn’t manage to lift the mobility scooter into the car on my own. He adored me and was always conscious of my pain and limitations.

In spring 2024, Jamie began experiencing pain in his head and ear. After months of appointments and misdiagnoses, he was finally seen by a specialist. He was called to the hospital at the end of August 2024. I’ll never forget sitting in the car waiting – as I couldn’t walk in with him – and seeing him emerge from his appointment holding a green booklet with Macmillan written on it. He nodded at me, and my world exploded. He had cancer of the mastoid bone and inner ear, which was rare and extremely aggressive. For the next few months, he battled incredibly hard. However, unfortunately we were told on 1 April 2025 that he was terminal. He passed away just two weeks later, at home, with me caring for him, as he wished.

Finding a new way forward

Since Jamie passed away, I have had to adapt quickly to do things myself. We were extremely lucky to have our bathroom converted into a wet room with a shower and a chair in October 2024. Jamie was alive to see this and he was so pleased that I would be able to manage to have a proper shower. I also bought a stool with wheels for the kitchen so I could cook and wash up. I even cooked Jamie a three-course meal shortly after receiving it – and he cried because he couldn’t eat it all. I was just trying to show him that I would be OK and I am glad he could see that.

I now have a cleaner once a week to come and do things in the house that I can’t. I have an automatic car and I have started driving again and I invested in a new power wheelchair that I can manage on my own. It’s amazing how many things Jamie used to do for me but I am capable. Sometimes it might need a little adaptation or take me a little longer, but I can do it.

I found the WAY Widowed and Young community through a Google search not long after Jamie’s passing. I was very emotional and trying to see what support was out there. At the time, I was having to pay for the funeral and many other bills and I didn’t have the money to purchase a membership. But I really wanted to be part of a community who understood. As much as my family and friends tried their best, they didn’t understand what I was going through. 

I applied to the WAY Memorial Fund, which supports people with the joining fee if needed, and I was thrilled to be accepted. I have been on the WAY Facebook groups every single day since and found a lot of comfort in reading and talking to others – sometimes just a listening ear, sometimes support and empathy. Sometimes I have even felt able to offer advice to others. It just feels like such a safe space as we are all in this same boat that none of us wanted to be on but here we are. I have used WAY support networks as my first choice of support when I am having a bad moment, and although I still have those moments, they are very, very slowly getting less frequent.

To others who are newly widowed and also living with a disability, I would say: don’t panic. Try not to focus on all the things you worry that you can’t do. Try to drill down into what the obstacles are and try to find solutions. It’s surprising what devices and things are already invented as there are lots of other disabled people and the chances are there are some options to help.

Secondly, it’s important to talk. Find people who understand, whether that be widows or other people with disabilities. Sometimes it’s easy to feel alone and trapped and hopeless when in reality there are hundreds and thousands of people who may have been through the same thing and they can help. 

I highly recommend WAY as a support network and there are Facebook groups for most disabilities online. In my experience they hold a wealth of information. Then there are also other resources like occupational health, GPs, even local councils that can help with living spaces and adaptations. It can be a lot to look into so reach out to others or charities that can advise, if needed.

I think if there was anything I would say to anyone reading this, it’s this: do the things you enjoy. Take time to make your life fit what you need, even if that means big changes. Grief and sadness still visit but I try to make the rest of the time as enjoyable as possible. That’s a blessing, and it’s what Jamie would have wanted.

Holding an awareness month for disability pride is extremely important. I feel there is so much stigma and so many misunderstandings and stereotypes when most people think of disabilities and disabled people. I am degree educated; I work full time; I also own a small business on top of my 40-hour-a-week day job; and I am disabled. Anyone can be disabled in any walk of life at any time. Five years ago, I was walking 20,000 steps on holidays each day and now I can’t do 200 steps. Life changes fast as we all know sadly too well and I just wish everyone had kindness, open mindedness and care for others at all times.