Helping your child to cope with grief at Christmas: Tips from Winston’s Wish

December 2025

Christmas can be a very difficult time for you and your children when someone important has died. It doesn’t matter whether this is your first or tenth Christmas without them, you might all find it difficult to cope.

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While grief never fully goes away, there will be times when feelings are heightened and Christmas – the time of the year that celebrates love and family time – is probably one of those times. Our friends at Winston’s Wish have shared some guidance on helping your child cope with their grief at Christmas.

Give yourselves permission to feel whatever you are feeling

There are lots of things that could potentially trigger you and your child’s grief – Christmas adverts, personalised cards, music. Your child might feel anger or jealousy towards others who aren’t grieving, sad because they miss their important person or even guilty for enjoying Christmas. 

It can feel like there is pressure to be happy and have fun at Christmas. Some children might feel guilty for enjoying some of their favourite things at Christmas without their special person, or feel guilty for not enjoying themselves when other people want them to. 

Let your child know that all of these feelings are perfectly normal and it’s okay to express them.

Decide together what to do at Christmas

Everyone experiences grief differently so you may find that different members of the family will want to do different things. Some may want to keep the same traditions and routines of previous Christmases while others will want to start new traditions and do something completely different. 

You could spend the day somewhere different, cook different food and establish new traditions. Do what feels right for you and your children. If that means eating pizza and watching action films on Christmas Day, then that’s fine. 

Talk together as a family and see if you can make a plan that works for everyone. Include your children in these discussions and don’t assume you know what they want to do but instead ask them.

Find a way to remember your special person at Christmas

Decide together what you would like to do to remember your important person. This could be lighting a candle in their memory, writing a card and placing it at their grave or somewhere special, visiting their favourite place or listening to their favourite Christmas song. Some children might like to make a new decoration with their person’s name on and place it on the tree. 

Your children might feel sad thinking about them and that’s okay – it is sad that they aren’t here to celebrate Christmas with you all. 

Let yourselves enjoy Christmas (if you want to)

Give children and yourself permission to look forward to Christmas and enjoy yourselves, smile and have fun. It doesn’t mean you have forgotten the person who has died or aren’t grieving for them. 

Be flexible and look after yourselves

Make plans but give yourself permission to change your mind. Let everyone know it’s okay to change your mind. You might find that actually doing the same Christmas traditions is more painful than you expected. It’s okay to change your plans or take a bit of time out if you need to.

Ask for help if you need it

Grief can be exhausting and so can the festive season, it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. Maybe you could ask friends or family members to help you – could someone else do the cooking? Could you send vouchers instead of presents? Could you skip the Christmas cards this year? Talk to your children as well, maybe there are some things they would like to do or help you with or are happy to skip this year.

About Winston’s Wish

Winston’s Wish is a charity that helps children, teenagers and young adults (up to the age of 25) find their feet when their worlds are turned upside down by grief. 

If you’re an adult supporting a bereaved child or young person who is struggling with their grief, you can call Winston’s Wish on 08088 020 021, email ask@winstonswish.org or use the live chat on their website (all available 8am-8pm, weekdays). They will be able to offer guidance, information and support.