World Suicide Presentation Day, WAY Member Lisa challenges the Myths and Taboos

September 2026

Lisa shares some thoughts on changing the narrative around suicide, which is the theme of World Suicide Prevention Day in 2026…

Challenging some of the myths and language around suicide

“I wish people understood that suicide is not selfish or ‘the easy way out’. A person experiencing suicidal crisis is often in such unbearable psychological pain that they genuinely believe there is no other way out. That does not lessen the devastation left behind, but understanding their state of mind helped me eventually move from anger towards empathy.

Language matters too. I personally prefer ‘died by suicide’ rather than ‘committed suicide’, as suicide has not been a crime in the UK for decades.

One of the biggest myths is that there are always obvious warning signs. There can be signs, and knowing what to look for is incredibly important, but sometimes there genuinely are no signs that the people closest to them could reasonably have recognised. Some people continue working, socialising, making plans and appearing completely themselves.

Another damaging belief is that the family must have missed something or could have stopped it. After a suicide, you can analyse every conversation and moment, desperately searching for what you should have noticed or done differently. However, another person’s suicide is not your fault.

Suicide also does not mean that the person did not love their family or care about the people they left behind. Someone experiencing a suicidal crisis may be in such unbearable psychological pain that their thinking becomes distorted. They may genuinely believe that their loved ones would be better without them. That does not make it true, but it can help explain how somebody who was deeply loved could die by suicide.”

What I wish people understood about suicide loss

“Suicide bereavement is grief combined with trauma, unanswered questions and often an enormous amount of guilt. When there is no note or clear explanation, you can spend years replaying conversations, searching for signs and wondering whether you could have prevented it.

You are not only grieving the person. You are also grieving the answers you may never receive, the future you expected to share and, in my case, the father my children should still have.

People can also be unintentionally hurtful when they focus only on the person who died and forget about those left behind. The family may be trying to manage their own trauma while supporting children, handling practical responsibilities and rebuilding an entire life.

Anger is also a valid part of suicide grief. I spent a long time feeling furious with Alan for leaving us and for everything our children had lost. Over time, hearing from people who had experienced suicidal thoughts helped me understand that he was not making a rational decision to hurt us and allowed me to have more empathy.

You are not the same person after you’ve been bereaved to suicide. The trauma can affect your mental and physical health, sometimes leading to anxiety, post-traumatic stress symptoms and a heightened nervous-system response. You may feel constantly alert, overwhelmed or unsafe, even when there is no immediate danger. Looking after yourself is not selfish; it is an essential part of surviving and healing after such a devastating loss.”

Supporting someone who has been bereaved to suicide

“Do not avoid saying the person’s name because you are frightened of upsetting those who’ve been left behind. We are already thinking about them. I couldn’t hear Alan’s name or listen to happy stories for a while, but now I love hearing people share happy memories, especially as time goes on. Hearing your loved one’s name and sharing memories can be incredibly comforting. Ask first whether the person who’s been bereaved would like to hear any stories or memories and respect their answer.

Avoid trying to explain why the person died or saying things such as ‘everything happens for a reason’, ‘they’re at peace now’ or ‘you need to stay strong’. Listening without judgement is often far more valuable than trying to find the perfect words.

Please continue showing up after the funeral and the initial weeks have passed. That is often when support begins to disappear, but the reality of the loss is only beginning to sink in. The support after the funeral can matter most, because that is when everyone else may begin returning to normal life while the bereaved person is still trying to survive each day.

Looking beyond ‘checking in’

Messages saying ‘let me know if you need anything’ are always well intended, but someone who is traumatised and in shock may not know what they need or have the energy to ask. You need to show up.

Specific, practical offers can be much more helpful: ‘I’ll take the children at 2pm on Saturday’, ‘I’ll come over after dinner and help with the housework’ or ‘I’m bringing you dinner tonight’. Takeaway vouchers were brilliant for me because my appetite had gone for months. Flowers are also better than doing nothing. I received around 50 bouquets, and, although I appreciated the thought behind every one, practical help can be especially valuable.

Most importantly, remember anniversaries, birthdays and other significant dates, and keep reaching out months and years after the bereavement. Support often fades after the funeral, but grief does not end when everyone else returns to normal life.”