Helping a grieving child who is struggling to sleep

April 2026

After a bereavement, some children and young people may struggle to sleep. There could be lots of reasons for this and it’s important to talk to them about why they can’t sleep. Our friends at the childhood bereavement charity Winston’s Wish have shared some reasons why your child may be struggling with sleep and ways you can help them. 

Why might children and young people struggle with sleep after a bereavement?

Children and young people may be having trouble processing their grief. This can lead to a lot of feelings that can be difficult to deal with, especially at night when they’re alone with their thoughts.

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It’s common to feel anxious after a bereavement. Lots of thoughts and feelings can arise that might be running through a child or young person’s mind making it difficult to go to sleep. Questions like ‘how can I cope without them?’, ‘what was the last thing I said to them?’ or ‘what will happen now?’.

They may also be struggling to sleep because they are out of their usual routine or feel unsettled.

Most children will have nightmares at some point in their childhood. This is a normal experience whether they have been bereaved or not. But bereaved children and young people may have nightmares or flashbacks. Nightmares often disturb sleep and can feel scary, confusing and disorientating for children. You might also feel upset witnessing your child’s distress.

If your child is having nightmares or flashbacks, it’s important they talk to someone about them – whether that’s a trusted adult or counsellor. If you are worried, please talk to your child’s GP.

How can you help a grieving child who is struggling to sleep?

Here are some suggestions to help a child or young person sleep. These can apply to children of any ages (and maybe even adults too). You may just have to adapt them to suit your child.

Try and keep familiar day and bedtime routine

Getting back into familiar routines during the day and at bedtime may help a child or young person to settle and sleep better. Try to make the sleep time feel more comforting, safe and familiar for your child by creating and maintaining a bedtime routine. This applies for older teenagers as well as for younger children, although their bedtime routine may look different. 

Try calming things before bedtime to help them sleep:

• Read a calming story or listen to an audiobook
• Sing a lullaby or listen to soothing music
• Use some calming scents such as lavender
• Have something to snuggle up to in bed, e.g. a teddy
• If they are scared of the dark, you could keep a night light or lamp on
• Try some breathing and relaxation techniques. You can find free ones online. These can be especially helpful if your child is experiencing worry or fear

Find a way to express their worries

Sometimes it can be helpful for children and young people to have somewhere else to place their worries to get them out of their head so they can rest and sleep. Here are a few ideas to try:

• Hang a dream catcher near their bed – let them know this will catch their worries and bad dreams to stop troubling thoughts from entering their dreams when they are asleep
• Write down or draw their worries on paper and place them in a worry box (could be a shoebox) – being able to express their worries before bed may help relieve some of their emotions and make it easier to get to sleep
• Tell their worries to a special toy or worry doll – talking to their toy or worry doll can help them to express what is on their mind and they can ask their toy to keep their worries safe whilst they go to sleep. 

If you’re worried about your child and their sleep patterns, please speak to their GP.

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About Winston’s Wish

Winston’s Wish is a charity that helps children, teenagers and young adults (up to the age of 25) find their feet when their worlds are turned upside down by grief. 

If you’re an adult supporting a bereaved child or young person who is struggling with their grief, you can call Winston’s Wish on 08088 020 021, email ask@winstonswish.org or use the live chat on their website (all available 8am-8pm, weekdays). They will be able to offer guidance, information and support.