“I want my baby to know who his dad was”: Mae’s fight to fill the Blank Space

February 2026

In 2024, Mae’s fiancé Jake died when she was seven months pregnant. Because she and Jake didn’t have the chance to get married, Mae wasn’t able to include Jake’s name automatically on their baby’s birth certificate. Here’s their story…

“My life with Jake was exactly where we wanted it to be. We met online when I was 27 and it just went from there. By the time I got pregnant, we had been together for just over two years. We were living together, I was working as a nurse within the NHS, and we were trying to have a baby. We were even in the middle of selling our property and buying a new house together.

---

Then everything changed overnight. Jake had been having a couple of occasions of migraines, or what we thought were just migraines. We even attended our local hospital, but we didn’t think much of it at the time. A few months later, I hadn’t heard from him and I went home and found him semi-unconscious. He sadly passed away that day. It turned out he had a colloid cyst on his brain that we weren't aware of. Fluid had been building on his brain and not draining.

When he died, I was 32 weeks pregnant. I had eight weeks left. My main focus was just the fact that I was pregnant and thinking, ‘I need to keep my baby healthy’. I moved back in with my parents, and they’ve been the best support since.

Charlie was born in June 2024. We hadn't found out the sex, but we had luckily discussed names when we’d got engaged the December before. As soon as I knew he was a boy, I knew I’d call him Charlie because that’s what me and Jake talked about.

The trauma didn’t end with the birth, though. I first found out about the ‘declaration of parentage’ when we went to register Jake’s death. I asked if I should just bring that to register our baby’s birth, and they said, ‘No... we think you need to get a declaration of parentage’. That’s because we weren’t married when Jake died. It was all a lot more difficult than I thought.

I tried to find a solicitor in Portsmouth, but most of them I phoned hadn’t dealt with the situation before. The hardest part was gathering DNA from Jake to prove he was Charlie’s father. I was 30 weeks pregnant and having to find a solicitor to try get DNA before Charlie was buried. At 3pm the day before Jake’s funeral, he had to be rushed to the morgue because the funeral parlour wasn't registered to take DNA. They had to rush him there before the guy went home to take the DNA and then get him back to the funeral parlour in time for the funeral the next day.

The cost of this was staggering. The DNA alone was over £2,000, and in total, the process of registering Charlie’s birth cost me just over £4,000. Luckily, I have family who could lend me the money, but I often think: ‘How are people affording this?’

Jumping through hoops

Because Charlie’s DNA was also needed for the Declaration of Parentage, the process couldn't even start until after he was born. The Portsmouth magistrates had never dealt with this before, so they had to send our case to the High Court in London. Charlie even had to have his own family guardian and solicitor appointed to him.

My solicitor fought so I didn't have to travel to London with a three-month-old whilst grieving. The Declaration of Parentage was finally granted in October 2024, but Jake’s name didn’t officially go on Charlie’s birth certificate until the December.

---

The thing I found hardest was that it felt like everything was against me all because we weren’t married. I could have grabbed a stranger off the street, taken them in and got their name on the birth certificate. Yet, for the actual father, I had to jump through hoops. It is added stress that you don’t need when the grief is overwhelming.

Getting Jake’s name on the birth certificate was so important to me because I want Charlie to know who his dad was. Legally and health-wise, Jake’s name should be on Charlie’s birth certificate. Looking at a certificate with a blank space where the father’s name should be is just wrong.

Every step felt like a knockback, and I kept wondering, ‘Why is this so difficult?’ I even wrote to my MP, but the response I got back felt very generic. He gave me links to support groups, which wasn't what I needed. They basically said it was dismissed by Parliament in 2017 and nothing more was going to be done about it. It felt like there was no interest.

Today, Charlie’s doing really well – he’s such a character. He points at photos of Jake and says, ‘Dada’. I’m keeping busy with work and doing a Master’s as well. But I am sharing my story because no one should have to fight this hard just to have their partner's name recognised. I am very passionate about this issue and want to help women in the future who have to experience this similar issue.”